.::still blinking::.

Honestly

2009-01-01T20:24:00.004-07:00

“He who is passionate and hasty, is generally honest; it is your cool dissembling hypocrite, of whom you should beware.”

I have a problem with honesty. I have mentioned before.

I have really been thinking about what I should and should not be writing about. Cause, you know, shit happens. But how much of it do I write down. My grandma kept a journal and I was asking my mom about them around Thanksgiving. My Aunt Adele has them now, but she won't let people read them because they are sad. I know that Grandma Katherine's life was sad, but it was filled with people who loved her as well. Like me. And my mom. And all of my family.

I was talking to my mother-in-law about this the other day and she said that in church a lady stood and read from her Grandma's journal, a Christmas entry and that it was really so touching.

So where do I draw the line? Do I pretend that my life is magic, and lucky charms, and unicorns? Or do I include the other stuff as well. Because the other stuff has changed me and made the person I am today, but so have the unicorns. Do I pretend I am happy all the time? I just don't know exactly.

I have recently started keeping a journal again. JJ kept a journal everyday on his LDS mission to Russia. I have been typing it up and really enjoy his little entries. He even writes about how many rubbles things cost. Is a rubble, like a fruity pebble?

Here is what I think. I write honestly and from the heart. Because sometimes things are magic and sometimes they make me cry in my bed for days. But the thing is, when I have read my journal entries from when I was struggling so much more with life I appreciate the changes that I made and realize I am doing better. And the happy times, well they are fun to remember. Like the first time I kissed my first real boyfriend, and felt the fire. And the time I realized I would probably marry JJ, even when I did not know him well yet. And when I got pregnant. And when the baby kicked. And now. When he tells me about being there when JJ and I got married and how I looked like a princess.

I think being honest is the way to go. Honest and true feelings and thoughts. Those are the things I should share. Because what is the point of writing if I am not sharing the truth.

i heart...

2008-12-30T22:12:00.003-07:00

Tony Stark

Wolverine

James Bond

Seriously.

no real subject, but here is another dinosaur picture

2008-12-19T08:24:00.003-07:00

I am still frantically preparing for Christmas. What they heck was I thinking making so many presents? I hate giving things I put no heart into, but my heart is no longer feeling it, I am completely out of steam and yet I head back into the mess to continue upward and onward. Hopefully.

The presents are really cute in my head, but I am a clumsy seamstress and it shows. I am trying though. Seriously trying.

Mr. Dino has made it into a lot of photos lately. The last photo he was not "eating" Baby Jesus. I was informed that this is just Jesus' new mode of transportation. Like Dino Taxi, with out the joy of being screamed at in the middle of a busy street in New York in the rain about getting OUT of my taxi. Taxi drivers in Denver are a lot nicer, doling out advice about having more children and spreading the love.

frontal lobatamy

2008-12-17T22:12:00.002-07:00

Cookin' the books with JJ makes me want to perform my own frontal lobotomy. Except that I have been begging for 6 years for his help with this. The one year that is missing from this equation, I was on a postpartum fueled release time.

Anyway, it is probably that I have reached bedtime and I just cannot comprehend all this number talk and why do I have to do the majority of this and we are still 2 years behind. Because as you read in a previous post we JUST got our tax returns and economic stimulus check, thanks GW. And now begins the rush to tax season, because I swear to you, I am not filling again in September.

Also, I got cold recently and decided I give up on cute I am going for old granny warmth. I am now wearing JJ's down parka that hangs down to my knees and I went and bought thermal underwear that are totally feminine with 2 inches of elastic lace at the bottom. It is totally hot. There is also a lot of beanie wearing, which helps with not wanting to do my hair.

There you have it. The formula for avoiding doing the deed.

Long Underwear (to my ankles)
+ Talk of Quicken and Reconcilling
--------------------------------
= A Long night of hot, hot sleep.

2008-12-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

Does this happen to Baby Jesus at your house?

These are for boobs.

2008-12-15T07:47:00.002-07:00

Gentry went Christmas shopping for me with JJ on Saturday. I guess JJ was looking at the pajamas and Gentry brought this over to him and said, "These are for boobs. This is cute."

Have I mentioned Gentry's current obsession with boobs. I have them and he doesn't. Same with JJ, I guess. We have been talking a lot about privacy and how he doesn't see me when I am naked. But he and I got all cuddly on the couch the other day to read Christmas stories and he announced, "My head is on your boob!" Well, lets change positions than.

I guess this is just the beginning. Boys are so not like girls.

seven years ago today

2008-12-14T15:33:00.001-07:00

What you cannot see in this picture is that he had a hicky on his cheek. I thought that would be a hilarious thing to have in all our wedding pictures. I still find it rather hilarious and he still groans when I bring it up.

Love you babe.

A good old fashioned white trash Christmas, down on the farm!

2008-12-13T10:49:00.002-07:00

He likes to be Tarzan at night and run around like a wild man in his underwear. We let him. This night he was a star-wrangling Tarzan!

Temple Square

2008-12-12T08:47:00.003-07:00

This year we have been doing an Advent Calendar. We read of slip of paper with an activity on it and Gentry gets a small candy. The activities vary, but on Wednesday we went to Temple Square, in downtown Salt Lake to look at the Christmas lights.

I have not been to see this in several years, but I really thought the nativity scene set in the reflecting pool was so pretty.

As we were leaving we asked Gentry if he liked going to see the lights. He said that he didn't like the lights, but that he did like looking at the big statue of Cheesus. He is referring to the large statue they have of Jesus in one of the visitor centers. He cracks us up.

I am feeling the love...

2008-12-09T22:59:00.003-07:00

I was tagged. And now you are too. If I didn't tag you and you want to participate. I tag you as well.

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago...
1.) Dating my first boyfriend.
2.) Camp outs in the living room of Davis 302. I love you girls.
3.) Very little studying.
4.) Hanging in the library a lot, but not studying.
5.) Learning to be independent.

5 Things on my "To-Do" list today...
1.) Vacuum
2.) Deposit my economic stimulus check. Yes, I JUST got my tax return.
3.) Sew a tree skirt.
4.) Fold the mountain of laundry in the hall.
5.) Shave.

5 Snacks I enjoy...
1.) Almonds
2.) Tea with small amounts of milk
3.) Sushi
4.) Fruit
5.) Celery

5 Things I'd do if I were a Millionaire...
1.) Pay off debt + mortgage.
2.) Buy a house for my mom or have her be my nanny and travel with me.
3.) Spend months of the year living else where. Italy. Japan. South Central Panguitch. Ely.
4.) Buy a highlander.
5.) Get more education.

5 Places I've Lived...
1.) Logan.
2.) South Jordan.
3.) Bryce Canyon.
4.) Herriman.
5.) JJ's grandparents house.

5 Jobs I've Had
1.) Caterer.
2.) Grocery Checker.
3.) Graphic Artist/Marketer.
4.) Cow Girl. I swear. I should put some pictures up here.
5.) Personal Escort. I have only ever had one client.

5 People I tag
1.) Mary, she likes her privacy
2.) Boogie the dog
3.) Aubrey Jeppson, mother of Macie
4.) Katrina
5.) Annie
6.) Tiffany

Ask and you shall receive

2008-12-09T18:19:00.004-07:00

Here is a recipe I get asked about quite a bit. It is for caramels that I make once and year and usually share with others at Christmas time. They take three hours to make that that is not including cooling, cutting and wrapping. So you really have to be serious about this. Also, this is a Martha Stewart recipe, she never does things the easy way.

If you received some of these last year I substituted light corn syrup for some kind of brown rice syrup, it is an earthy product and made them much less sweet, but a lot more rich. I think I was going to try half corn syrup this year and half rice syrup. Also, heavy cream is not terribly expensive at Costco and I think you have a little left over to drink. You know JJ is standing here with his face on the spout of the cream waiting for me to get finished.

Golden Caramels
4 cup heavy cream
1 cup sweetened condensed milk
4 cup light corn syrup
4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 16 peices
1 Tablespoon + 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1- Spray a cookie sheet with cooking spry. In a 2-quart saucepan, combine cream and sweetened condensed milk; set aside.
2- In a large saucepan (really large), combine corn syrup, 1 cup of water, sugar and salt. Clip on a candy thermometer. Over high heat, cook until sugar is dissolved, stirring with a wooden spoon, 8-12 minutes. Brush down sides of pan with a pastry brush dipped in water to remove sugar crystals
3- Stop stirring, reduce heat to medium, and bring to a boil. Cook without stirring until temperature reaches 250 degrees (45-60 minutes). Meanwhile, cook cream mixture over low heat until it is just warm. Do not boil. When sugar reaches 250 degrees, slowly stir in butter and warmed cream mixture, keeping mixture boiling at all times. Stirring constantly, cook over medium heat until thermometer reaches 244 degrees, 55-75 minutes. Stir in vanilla. Immediately pour into prepared pan without scraping pot. Let stand uncovered at room temperature for 24 hours without moving.
4- To cut, spray large cutting board with vegetable oil. Unmold caramels and cut. Wrap in cellophane or waxed paper.

Yum. If you want me to send you a few of these I totally will. Comment and leave your address and I will send you a couple. You will think you have died. If you live by me and are my friend in real life, not fake internet life, you will probably get some anyway. If you are my friend in internet standard time, comment and I will send you some.

Love,
Makayla

Cake Mix

2008-12-08T16:54:00.002-07:00

I made a cake last night for Aubrey's birthday. It was loosely based on Better Than Sex cake, I would call it Better Than Fruity Sex Cake.

Here is how it went down:

1 cake mix + all the stuff that goes in a cake mix
1 package of strawberry jello
1 can of sweetened condensed milk
1 tub of frosting to match corresponding cake mix

1- Make the cake. When finished, cool completely.
2- Give toddler a chopstick and have him poke lots and lots of holes in the cake.
3- Make jello and pour over the cake. Put in fridge and allow 4 hours to set up.
4- Pour can of sweetened condensed milk over cake and allow half hour to soak in.
5- Frost. Sing Happy Birthday and Serve.

I hope your arteries appreciate this as much as mine did.

photos

2008-12-04T21:16:00.006-07:00

Here are some photos I took over the Thanksgiving weekend. I love the cuteness of these kids and the gorgeous light that made everything glow in this house.

Also, aren't my Aunt Adele and her granddaughter Kate so precious. I mean seriously. These photos make my heart swoon and my eyes a little teary.

And do you see Jonas smiling with his eyes, I swear he is about to break out the jazz fingers.

I made this hot chocolate today and it made me glad that I did not have cocoa mix at my house. You should try it, you will thank me and your husband will too.

back

2008-11-30T18:54:00.004-07:00

Look how cute my boys are.

We are home. We only fought once and only on the way home and it was because JJ doesn't read my mind (the nerve).

I will write more as I took lots and lots of photos. I need to fill your little eyes with the perfect perfection that is my life and not yours. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. (stop evil laugh here).

That last part was for my sister Kateka, that is really the name we call her although not her real name. She and I don't like reading blogs about perfect people and the same crap over and over.

Also, do you stay up at night worrying about your money or lack there of. My inner worrying alarm wakes me up pretty regularly at 3am to worry. We are fine. Seriously. But still I must worry. And it really disrupts with my hot, hot dreams about Daniel Craig. Or Hugh Jackman. Sometimes both. I wish.

My holiday contribution

2008-11-26T07:57:00.003-07:00

Guess who is learning not to wet in his bed at night and doing a pretty darn good job of it. Go JJ! I mean Gentry. Eight whole days. How does this work you may ask.

35 days + no wet beds = new kitty

We are pretty excited and trying to pay no attention to the fact that I am allergic and have never owned a cat. Hopefully I can handle it. Hopefully. Because we all want one. And G is working hard on his control. He is doing stellar though and big boys don't pee in the bed.

And moving right along. Lets talk about Holiday food. These topics go splendidly together.

I am making Sweet Potato Casserole, which sounds dull, but is really so delicious you would ask to live with your face in a dish of it for a week. Seriously. There is more sugar here than nutrition.

Sweet Potato Casserole
4 cups mashed cooked sweet potatoes
2 cups packed brown sugar
1 cup melted butter
1/4 cup honey
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups sweetened condensed milk
4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 cups chopped pecans (optional at my house)
20 large marshmallows

1- Cook your sweet potatoes in the microwave for 10 minutes. Wait for them to cool before continuing or you will burn your fingers off. Remember the game hot potato? It is not a joke. When cool, scoop out the insides into a large bowl.

2- Preheat the oven to 375. Butter a 13 x 9 inch baking dish and set aside.

3- In a large bowl, with a wooden spoon, beat the potatoes, sugar, butter, honey and salt until thoroughly combined. Add the sweetened condensed milk and cinnamon and mix well. Stir in the optional pecans.

4- Spoon the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Bake for 30 minutes.

5- Remove the casserole from the oven and evenly place the marshmallows on the top. Return to the oven and bake for 10 minutes longer, or until the marshmallows are golden brown and slightly melted. Let stand for 5 minutes before serving.

Control4 The Whip I am about to Use on Your @$$

2008-11-25T21:32:00.003-07:00

So I am working my guts out getting ready to hit the road for a bit and what is someone else doing?

Sitting on his butt making sure the lights are programmed to flick on and off while we are gone. This is crucial you know. Because we also have a corrugated man taped to a rotating train and a record player playing "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." And no one will suspect that we are totally not here.

Aren't computers the best, best, best.

This post took 2 minutes. So I am totally validated in saying this.

Robitussen is my love

2008-11-24T20:21:00.006-07:00

I went to the doctor today. I will spare you the details because they are gross, except that I showed him 1/2 of the goods. And it was totally clinical, I swear. In return he gave me my ever coveted cough medicine.

So in about an hour I am going to go take my 7.5mL (is that right?) and feel the sleep come over me. It is such a lovely feeling. I totally don't have a drug problem. I can stop at anytime I swear. Also, why would I take it when I can fall asleep on my own, but when I am coughing it takes care of the problem.

My first experience with this elixir of life was the week before I got married the first time. I was sick, because it was December and I worked in the computer labs on campus and students are disgusting. So I went the student doctors office, the doctors were not students. They gave me the medicine and forgot to mention that it was for night only. I took it all day everyday for a week thinking it was going to cure my cough. Which translates to, I slept through the last week of our engagement.

By "the goods" I mean, he looked up my nose holes with his pointy light.

Am sick.

2008-11-23T18:21:00.003-07:00

Which has been agitated by intense weights workout the day before (sore muscles) and snorting non-drowsy medicine all day the previous day. I did not know it was non-drowsy, so I tried to fall asleep by taking cough medicine with codeine, which I save for special occasions. Also, I always try to get some cough medicine with codeine from the doctor. Yes, it is just a bladder infection, but this cough (hack hack) is really keeping me up (hack hack). I swear. Promise.

Ended up staying awake to 4AM watching reruns of SuperNanny and Grey's Anatomy on my laptop. And the Office. And Kath & Kim. And wanting to jj to stop with the snoring already.

Now my bed is covered in partially used kleenex and every superhero in the house.

2008-11-20T17:43:00.003-07:00

What!?!

I know I said I was going to post every day, but come on. Sometimes I just don't have any thoughts rolling around in the old noggin'. Seriously.

Tonight I am going to eat out with a bunch of girl friends and I am sure when I leave Gentry will shed his clothing. He does this every night lately and runs around in his underwear, freezing and pretending he is Tarzan. And being the great parent that I am, I let him. Thank you all for not coming over in the evening unannounced. You would see us having Family Home Evening with one never nude (hi arrested development fans) child.

This makes me crazy

2008-11-18T15:43:00.002-07:00

On my bathroom floor right now:

:: one zebra
:: one camel
:: one giant water spitting toy spider
:: one winter dog, probably similar to the type Todd Palin has
:: one lizard
:: one giraffe
:: two cows
:: one dragonfly ring
:: pee
:: lots of hair that I cannot see but that braids itself around my toes
:: one square of toilet paper
:: one teal bath rug
:: one 50s style makeup case
:: one parenting book
:: one rubber band
:: one gift card to express
:: one book club book
:: two toddler works of art

Now times this by my bedroom and the living room and my carpet that needs to be cleaned but that no one does properly. I am a constant bag of nerves.

2008-11-17T19:24:00.001-07:00

This is pretty.

I designed it. It is a holiday card for a corporate client. I hope they choose this one.

naughty mommie lunch

2008-11-17T13:13:00.002-07:00

I am home alone on Mondays. I have to work and do the laundry, but I cannot tell you how much I love to hang around all day working in my warm jammies and eating food I could not eat if Gentry was here. I can eat garbage, but Gentry MUST eat healthy. If Gentry were home I would totally not put chocolate chips on it, because that is the part that is unhealthy. Obviously. mmmmmmmmmm.

Thanks for trading kid care Tanjie.

nothing to say

2008-11-16T22:52:00.003-07:00

Gentry punched me in the arm today. Which is not the worst pain in my life, but it is sharp and intense. I told him if he did it again I was going to do it back. Thankfully he listened and there was no need to commence the beatings or the bleetings.

We had nine sheep when I was in high school. Our favorite was named Paisley, which is a good name for a sheep but not a child. To tired to continue. Perhaps I will continue the tale of the sheep tomorrow.

4 Years

2008-11-15T13:18:00.003-07:00

The time has passed to quickly. I remember thinking 6 months would never come, since than time has flown by. I cannot believe that you are four. We celebrated by throwing your first official birthday party. Since Dad and I love the design elements of the event we didn't pay much attention to the big details like games and such. But the graphic elements we rocked.

Holy Batcakes, Batman!

T-shirts! We made a shirt for each kid. JJ did most of the work. I ordered the shirts from one of our vendors and I love them. They turned out really cute, JJ did all the screen printing. We are having visions of screen printing other things though. Like mens underwear. And lots and lots of onsies.

i love...

2008-11-14T08:48:00.003-07:00

:: eating breakfast in the morning and actually being ready for the day ::

:: eagerly preparing for a very batman birthday party ::

:: sushi dinner tomorrow night :: black magic woman roll is my favorite ::

:: new ideas ::

:: a nearly clean house :: this is so rare and worked so hard for :: just one more toilet, tub and vacuuming :: yeah ::

:: exercising again :: hopefully :: i quit for about 2 months :: guess i needed a break ::

:: nearing the end of several books ::

:: learning to prioritize ::

:: bat fondant :: this should be fun ::

:: a little boy with a dry diaper in the morning :: also un-swollen junk ::