.::still blinking::.

I made sushi tonight and it was...

GROSS.

What a waste. I guess it really is an art and I am going to have to keep paying the artist tons of money to partake.

Dang it.

However, I am going to try and easier recipe next week. Perhaps that will be better.

Labels: Intake, One Day

I am tempted to buy this.

And a conversation with jj earlier.

Labels: One Day

This is my new favorite song. I bought the song from iTunes the other day. I am considering getting the album.

Fidelty by Regina Spektor

Labels: One Day

I called Dr. Laura today because I needed my nose rubbed in my @$#*. I had not listened in several years. I don't think that I am going to start now.

She said that I probably whine to my husband and baby all the time about my mom, which is not true. I rarely bring her up unless something new has come up. I don't really talk about what is going on with her to anyone. I just am trying to distance myself.

I called the Dr. to see if I should just cut her out of my life completely. She said, "no." Just pull away. And then just basically hung up on me. She did not listen to my circumstances, or what my mom had done. I guess I was stupid to call a phone phycologist anyway. They have to fit you into 5 minute or less increments.

jj and I both agree, pulling away is going to best for everyone. The less she is in my life, the less there will be to whine about.

I guess we all realize how limited our parents are. Or we get married and our spouse fills us in. That is the blessing that I have bestowed on jj. He only tells me about my parents when I ask him too. And obviously we all know my dad is not a good example.

Lots of people have crappy parents and somehow we all end up being crappy parents to our children. Even though we have the best intentions.

I cannot say that my childhood was bad. What I can say is that waking up from my childhood haze of perfect parents is a hard pill to swallow. Luckily, I am getting it in two smaller doses. I realized my dad was crappy years ago, I am just not realizing my mom is not the best. I had years to get used to the __________ of my dad. Now I am stairing at this dose of $#*@ my mom is giving me, I know I am going to have to swallow it soon. But I also know that once I accept it, a huge burden will be lifted.

I hope that Gentry never feels this way about me.

I am giving myself until 3:00pm to cry about this. After that I am done crying over this. There is no point.

Labels: One Day

I check out magazines from the library. I know that is totally lame, but I hate the guilt of buying them and letting them stack up for years and then finally throwing them away. I would rather check out ones that every other dirty person in the county has touched. Anyway, I checked out a couple Real Simple magazines to take on the plane to Denver. One of them was for the holidays and it had an article about how we don't know our family. Which is true. I know my sisters and brother and their lives pretty well. But I don't really know about anyone else. The article had a whole bunch of questions, semi-nosy, to ask your relatives so that you could get to know them. I wrote them down and thought that I would write about them occasionally.

One the really stuck out, was who was your first kiss?

Update 7/10/2008: Mine would like to remain nameless. He let me know today. However, if you are smart and look at the comments, you can see his name down there and his snarky comments as well.

Update 7/26/08: I noticed today that he removed his comments. However, since I know a bit about the interweb, I still have them. I know, I am a genius with some mad internet skills. However, you don't have to be a genius to see his name.

I went to junior prom with him. At the end, on the door step, he kissed me. It was so perfect, in a sickeningly teenage romance kind of way, that I burst into tears. Obviously, that was the correct response. He was mortified and ran back to his car and was so nervous he did not come to church the next day (we were in the same ward) and did not talk to me for a while after. As I recall, the actual events of the next day may be different, I cannot remember for sure. It was something like that.

Labels: One Day

I have a schedule that I generally follow for cleaning the house. If you actually came over to my house you would realize that my home is in a continual state of disarray. That is because as I clean, there is a force that follows me around like a little tazmanian devil. It is the small hurricane of entertainment that keeps my house looking dirty. I clean all day, everyday. There is no way that you would know that by looking at my house though. But this schedule is my favorite to look at so far.



You will notice that I do not have a space for working at the doctor's office anymore. That is because I am cutting back my hours there from eight to four. I will not be going in during the day. That will give me a lot more time to do things that are important. Like shopping, and going to lunch with friends.

Labels: One Day

Although I love bisquick, I gave it up when our last mega-box ran out. I just did not feel right about making biscuits out of what appeared to be flour and milk. It just did not add up to me.

So, today, in celebration of fall (I wish that it was not coming this quickly), I made homemade biscuits. I looked for recipes online because I do know that it is possible to make food with actual flour. Not everything has to come from a box or your local grocers freezer aisle. I found a recipe that called for 10 cups of flour. And I was terribly vexed by this. First of all, only two out of three people in my household eat actual food. Second, who wants to actually measure out TEN cups of flour. Third, what the heck am I supposed to mix that in. So that obviously was not the recipe that I made.

I did find another one that called for six tablespoons of mayonnaise. I was a little hesitant, but it only wanted two cups of flour. How reasonable and fair. I have also heard that mayonnaise is very moist when you cook with it. Some people use it in cakes, I am not one of those people. But I have heard of such things.

So this is what I did, and it turned out very well.

Drop Biscuits

2 cups self-rising flour
1 cup milk
6 tablespoons mayonnaise

or here is a healthier version (this is the one that I actually used)

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup unbleached white flour
1 tablespoon Baking Powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
6 tablespoons mayonnaise

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, stir together flour, milk, and mayonnaise until just blended. Drop by spoonfuls onto lightly greased baking sheets.
3. Bake for 12 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden brown. It took me about 15 or 16 minutes until they looked done.

We had them with a couple cans of Progresso soup. It was a yummy dinner.

Labels: Intake, One Day

The roads are like ribbons
Carved into the land;
Meandering like a river
Haphazard as my thoughts.
I pass over what is usually below
They reach up to touch me
As I have dreamed of touching them.
Swimming in an ocean of clouds,
I am enveloped by the cashmere softness.

Labels: One Day

My baby came home today! He is so cute and talking up a storm. You all should come and see. I want to kiss his little squishy face off.

Also, who doesn't love Tiffany & Co. A couple of the girls that I worked with this past week had necklaces from there.

I like this one and this one.

But honestly, who could resist a stack of these on there hand?

Click on "Create Stacks of Celebration Rings."

I would love my left and right hand ring fingers to be filled with these.

Labels: One Day, Squishy

I never knew that silicone had so much to do with the new wave of technology.

It is amazing that silicone breasts are supposed to intise you into buying anything from mirror tv's to Olé touchpads.

Fortunately for jj's company they are not banking on my silicone, or lack there of, to make them any profits.

But in the world of consumer electronics, the men that are in charge know that the men that are buying are first impressed by the women who entice them into the booth, and then they will maybe want to know about the product they are trying to sell. I saw several girls in the evocative little outfits. What that has to do with a wall mounted plasma screen, I don't know.

I was also amazed that to also get people into their booths, there were companies giving out beer. I know that beer is probably the most preferred beverage in the world. Even over water. But how alcohol helps someone make logical business decisions, I don't know. Lets get all the men here impaired and then try to get them to sell our product. Good idear.

Labels: One Day

I was living at jj's grandparents house while I was trying to find a new apartment. The one that I was going to live in fell threw. I was living in the upstairs guest bedroom, jj was in the basement. We technically lived together before we were married.

I was on my way to work and jj could hear me upstairs getting ready to go. I was about to leave and he called me on my cellphone and told me that I needed to come and watch what was on tv. I told them that I had to go, or I would be late. He told me it was important.

I went down into the basement, where the tv is. jj grandparents were watching the news. They informed me of what was going on. I sat down for only a few minutes and watched and then I had to go to work. I worked in the computer labs at Utah State University. When I got to work, we turned one of the computers to one of the news stations that had live feed from the Trade Towers. People who came to school that day stood around that computer and just watched in amazement. We could not believe what we were watching. I worked and did what I was supposed to while this was all going on.

jj called me later, and told me that one of the towers was going to collapse. When the first one fell, he told me that lots of buildings where going to fall. They would all damage each other.

When I was finished with work, I went back to jj's grandparents house and went into the basement and found his grandparents in the same places and positions that I had left them in four hours earlier. I stayed with them until my drawing class started. I was sure that the teacher would let us leave and not have to go to class today. I was wrong. She said, the best way we could fight against this sort of thing was to keep going. We needed to not shut down, we needed to persist in living. I knew she was right, but I yearned to fall asleep and wake up from this bad dream. I was sure that nothing would happen in Logan, Utah. But I was scared anyway.

In the days that followed. I was constantly hooked up to any news source that I could find. I would be doing my homework on a computer and have msnbc.com live news feed playing in the background. Weeks after the towers fell I was still hoping that they would find people alive. I knew that it was not possible, but I wanted it so badly.

I was amazed that we never saw the people that they pulled out of those crushed skeletons of buildings. At first I really wanted to know what had happened to them. Later I understood that out of respect they did not let people like me know what had happened.

On October 5th, 2001, jj proposed to me. We continued to live. But I still searched for any link to these people who had perished. I found a website that had phone messages from people who were trapped in the towers. They knew they were going to die and they had called their loved ones to tell them that they loved them. There was one from a woman to her husband. I don't remember everything that she said, but she ended it saying, "I love you always."

I had that inscribed on the inside of jj's wedding band. I have thought of other things that I would have liked to have put in their since. But at the time, it seemed the most appropriate.

I did not know anyone who was killed that day. I was not personally affected. But I was awakened to the type of world that we live in. In that way I was changed forever.

Labels: One Day

My cousin Sarah is hilarious.

Labels: One Day

Cuke kids on the sand piles at my family reunion. Wouldn't it be funny if they were all really a bunch of cucumbers in clothing.

Genty refused to keep his feet buried.

I got a little irritated with all the older kids throwing sand and eventually I turned into the safety patrol. I would take away toys and almost got to the point of making kids have timeouts.

There was one little girl who spit in my sister Kateka's face. We went and told her dad and he was like, oh, she is just at that age. And laughed. What? No wonder she is part devil, her dad is completely devil. There is no appropriate age for spitting.

Next year when I go back and spend the entire time sitting on the sand, "diggin." That is how Gentry says it. I am going to kick kids off the sand pile for being brats. I don't care if their parents aren't going to discipline them, I am going to let them know that there is someone in charge here and I am going to make kids be nice. There will be, "NO THROWING SAND ON THE SANDPILE!"

Now sit down and be nice you little terd.

Isn't jj hilarious? He took this picture.

Labels: One Day, Squishy

I went to a town called Tabiona this weekend for my mom's family reunion. Her grandpa used to own the mountain, and slowly sold little bits of it off. My mom now has a little piece of land as do all my aunts, uncles, and their cousins.

There is a little communal piece of land that is owned by my mom's family that we have a big pavilion on and it has room for lots of campers and tents and things. We go up yearly to play in the mountains and pay homage to our ancestors.

My mom grew up on this mountain, she knows all the little secrets places and lots of fun stories. I only know it as old and run down, not the kind of place that you would want to spend a lot of time unless you like to slow way down and take it easy. That is the atmosphere here.

Notice that most things are the color of rust.

Labels: One Day