.::still blinking::.

:: sleeping boys ::

:: a mommie willing to watch the boy so I may barf freely ::

:: a husband willing to do my work so that I may do some more of the above ::

:: nearing the end of some client work :: beautiful holiday card :: happy clients ::

:: warm bed :: yummy tea ::

Labels: I love

I was so sick today. The medicine that was supposed to make me better, made me worse.

I woke up this morning thinking I could exercise again. Instead I woke up and threw up. The rest of the morning was spent in a tango of writhing on the floor, laying with my head in the porcelain goddess and getting sippy cups full of milk (not for me). I kept dreading the moment a poopie diaper occurred.

I called my mom to come and watch the wee one and jj to come home and do my design work. It was a busy day and I could not even sit up and look at a computer without immediately running for the rest room.

Thankfully I am feeling much better now. I probably will never take that sort of medicine again. The lortab, from when I broke my arm, did the same thing just not as badly. I had no idea I reacted so strongly to medicine.

Labels: One Day

This morning I coughed up a small hairless Gremlin. In fact, I do believe it was this one.

I have been sick for close to three weeks. Going to the doctor today for the good drugs, the kind that make you want more and more.

Labels: One Day

jj made egg noodles for chicken noodle soup last night. They are so good and easy. There is really no reason to not do it yourself every time.

Labels: Fuzzy, Intake, One Day

Today on The View, a very high quality show, they had a brother and sister come on. They are now in eleventh and twelfth grade grade. When they were ll and 12 they started Cell Phones for Soldiers. With this program you can drop off your phone or mail it in for free and AT&T recycles the phones and gives the kids phone cards. They send the phone cards to soldiers who are away from home who do not have the money to call home. So far they have raised $1.4 millions dollars. Yesterday on The View, AT&T rewarded them each with $100,000 scholarships to the universities of their choice.

I have three phones pictured and another one floating around somewhere. What do you have?

Labels: One Day

Labels: One Day, Squishy

Dearest Interweb,

I am in need of a new hair do as I have grown increasingly bored with mine. Which of these do you like, if any?

With all my love,
Makayla

If you would like to try this out go to InStyle magazine's Hollywood Hair Makeover site. I found it via How About Orange.

Labels: One Day

I have not dared say this before, but it has been Christmas time at my house for a week. I had to get the tree up and I am so happy I did. You all should come and see. I will great you with warm wassail and ginger cookies.

I love Christmas. Not the gift giving, or the stressing about what to get people. But the spirit it brings. I look forward to it all year, and my house feels so much more cozy with a tree up in it. Like it was built for Christmas trees and fun memories to be had.

My mom has been giving me Christmas decorations since I was a little girl. My grandma Katherine used to as well. She has been gone 13 years. I remember her Christmas tree from when I was a child. They always fastened it to the wall with fishing wire so the grandkids would not tip it over. She also had iconic 50s decorations. I wish I had one to hang on my tree. There were the plastic tear drops with winter and religious scenes. I also remember my Aunt Adele's tree. She used to have the candles with the bubbling liquid, such iconic old school decorations. I would love to have that kind of thing on my tree to remind me of my childhood. As it is, I have the things that people have given me. Ruby slippers. A little porcelain doll. And I have started my own collection of ornaments. I buy one every year to remind us of the year. This year is the year of Spiderman, and I found one that I will proudly display it from now until Gentry wants it for his tree.

Labels: Christmas, One Day

:: a sweet and loving husband, who looks especially hot in black or white ::

:: a little boy who yells at me everyday and reminds me that there is more to life ::

:: a little warm house ::

:: the smell of yummy food baking ::

:: good friends ::

:: loving family ::

:: freedom and faith ::

:: having most of my shopping done and not having to go and beat people at Walmart at 3 in the morning ::

Labels: I love, One Day

jj is in the other room making pumpkin purée for pies. Then he will begin on pie crusts with coconut oil instead of butter, which will be so good. He is making pumpkin, pecan and apple pies

I am about to start preparation on this stuffing with craisins, apples, sausage and real bakery bread, or I may begin work on the cranberry sauce with pineapple, apricot jam, and apples. mmmmmmmmmm. Isn't holiday food divine? What are you making?

Labels: Intake, One Day

I watched the Bachelor all season. I realize there are far cooler things to be watching. But seriously, I cannot get enough of the botox, silicone, fake blond fest.

And can you believe what the guy ended up doing? He sent them all home. He was not "in love" with anyone and did not propose marriage to a single one. Good for him.

Labels: One Day

I have about a million things to do downstairs. I don't know if I will ever be able to enter that level of the house again.

jj got up from the kitchen table and went and stood by the front door and farted.

Several times.

Loudly.

I guess I should thank him for not doing it at the dinner table.

However, I was at the dinner table.

Eating dinner.

And he was standing there.

Smiling.

Coyly.

Like, look at me. I am such a gentleman.

Farting is one thing.

Farting performances.

Well, that is a complete other thing.

Labels: Fuzzy, One Day

Labels: One Day

I cannot think of a single thing to write about. I have been trying to do a post a day in November, but being that there is nothing floating around in my head, there is nothing to say.

Labels: One Day

Do you remember this boy?

I hardly do. I cannot believe the boy that is telling me I bug him every day was once so small and chubby.

Labels: One Day

You amaze me everyday.

You informed me yesterday that cutie oranges are delicious. You actually said that.

You also ripped the head off a dinosaur in the library book. I told you when we got home you would get a time out for being so naughty. When we got home you went and sat in timeout without me even reminding you.

You hold my hand lately. Your little fingers wrapped around one of mine, it makes my heart jump. I would walk to the end of the world like that. You also like to hold my hand when we are in the car. So I hold one of your legs while your toys use it as a hill to jump off or as a spider to jump on. Once in a while you will put your hand on mine and pat it or just rest it on mine. It is such a simple movement.

I cannot imagine life without you.

You have made me.

Labels: One Day, Squishy

I have never talked to Gentry about shots before. I just don't bring it up and by not addressing this, I assume that he is not out shooting heroine. I also assume that he not going and getting immunizations when I have my eyes closed.

A couple days ago he had his three year check up and we discussed all my concerns. By all my concerns I mean, my concerns. I managed to squeeze in some questions about Gentry so I didn't sound completely self-centered. But lets get this straight. Gentry is concerned with Spiderman, becoming Spiderman and cookies. I, however, have concerns of my own. About my life and the amount of crap I let in. So I had some concerns worth discussing. The doctor said to follow my heart, and I am. I feel good about my decisions.

After the discussion, the nurse walked in and said, "Time for a shot!" Like it was now time to pull a chocolate coated Spiderman with nougat center from her hat. Like, are you ready for the happiest time of your young life? Gentry was not fooled and proceeded to climb the walls, shrieking-and-cavorting-Spiderman-style. He has never been so scared in his life and I don't know who told him that shots were near death and that the Green Goblin was actually going to come and pull his head off and throw it into a burning building. But lets just say the tantrum that followed was incredible. Spectacular. An A++ as far as tantrums go.

I bribed him with french fries and tried to distract him with a book that was not about Spiderman. He was still not fooled.

He was so upset about being poked by the nurse he would not let me put his pants back on. He then proceeded to inform me that he is no longer in need a mother. I had turned on him and let someone poke him with a needle. For obvious reasons, he thought he could so a much better job that I do.

As we were driving home, I told him that Peter Parker got poked by a spider and it turned him into Spiderman. I could hear the little hampsters in his mind churning. I told him that sometimes we have to get shots so that we can be strong like Spiderman.

Today, he told me that he got poked like Spiderman. I think he is expecting the change any minute now.

Labels: One Day, Squishy

Love bulbs. Love the thoughts of new growth. Excited for what the spring will bring in a transformed garden.

Labels: One Day

breathing is easier
comfort fills me
i feel the coming of winter
the warmth from within

Labels: Haiku-ish Limmerick, One Day

We were in Logan this weekend. It was so beautiful and relaxing. I am finally seeing that Logan is small and that I feel more at home again in Salt Lake. It has only taken about four years to get over the six years I lived there. There are no buildings over four stories. Most of the businesses are along Main Street and are old and worn with charm. I love Salt Lake now/again. I love my neighbors and friends. I love my house. I love being close to stores I love. There is definitely more charm and old time personality in Logan, but I am starting to hit my groove here. It is nice to be home.

Labels: One Day

Blogging from jj's iPhone makes me feel like the total hipster I think of myself as. I just need a swanky black turtleneck, skinny pants and Audrey Hepburn sitting next to me. And perhaps a spot of sun with an equally cool cat basking in it.

You may have noticed that I have started monitoring comments. I will not be taking that off. Some of you are haters and hate me. This blog is not me in my entirety. I find it very short sited of people to think that because they read this, they have any sort of context in which to base their idea of who I am. I also find it very hard to think of things to write of late. Because I know that some of you are out there hating. If you have hateful things to say to me perhaps you should stop reading my blog. You know, there are choices in life. One being reading others blogs. The another being an ass. I am a happy girl and if that upsets you, that is sad.

I would also like to define forgiveness. Forgiveness is releasing the pain that a person has caused in your life. A person could rape another and forgive the rapist. However, the person who was raped does not have to let the rapist back in their life. Forgiveness is different from trust. A rapist will never have trust again. I have forgiven the people that have hurt me. However, I will not be letting you in my life. I do not trust you.

Also, I find I must state as I have before, that being a relative does not make you my family. I choose who I let in my life and I call them family. Good people. Honest people. Trustworthy people. They are my family. I love myself and my family enough to protect myself from unhealthy, toxic people. I mean it.

Labels: One Day

Labels: Fuzzy, One Day

I have not mentioned before, but Gentry and I are part of a preschool swap thing. He is gone for an hour and a half every Monday and Wednesday. For this I pay the price of having to teach once a month. Not bad really, except that it is not really once a month. It is twice every other month. Still not bad right?

Except, who sends their children to preschool with boogers smeared clear across their face. "How nice to see you!" I say, then shut the door and vomit on all offending slime covered children. "Come get a kleenex and wipe your face please," I say. More boogers are added to the dense sludge cake. Must run to bathroom to vomit a little more.

AND THEN! Then I have to wipe some other persons nose and hands and get all offending boogers out of the house. Which gets me all a twitching in my eye.

Then while the nice little girls are singing songs, there are two boys acting like beached whales on my couch. All flopping and groaning and leaking saliva. Only one of these boys was mine and I am not the sweet teacher or the kind and gentle mother. I am the mean one with the ruler and the board with the holes and I swatted them hard. Or being translated, I put them in opposite corners and made them have a timeout so we girls could continue singing about stars and buses and farmers.

I eventually gave up with teaching these pre-pubescent pre-kindergarten pre-potty trained toddlers anything and turned on the tv and we watched Super Why. I knew the tv would turn them nearly comatose and that is a state of toddlerhood I rather enjoy, especially when there are 6 of them here.

Labels: One Day, Squishy

I could not publish yesterday. It was slightly frustrating. I kept pushing the thing and it kept saying it was working on it and by about 4:00 it said it was 55% done. What a quick and efficient worker. I guess my trusty hampsters had quit their cycling for the day at 1 o'clock AM, mountain standard time.

Also, I broke jj's laptop. It was about a month ago, I fell asleep with it in bed with me. There is nothing like falling asleep with a warm laptop on your tum tum. I rolled over and it fell off me and landed on the floor on the power cord insertion device. And dented it. So it has done ok since then until yesterday. Now it has a hard time recognizing the power cord and so we have to prop it up with a lego. Or a table knife. Or an ipod. Or an ipod and lego. And it has to be just so. Turn me a little bit more. A little more. A little more. Yes. There.

No. Not there. Turn a little more. A little more.

You get the idea. Super sensitive. Like a teenager. Who ran out of hairspray. Who's mother said hello. Who you looked at incorrectly. Just like that.

So I am now trying to decide if I want a new laptop of my own to sleep with or if the other two computers we have would suffice. But laptops are so nice. You can use them in bed, and on the porch and in the bathroom if needs be.

Labels: One Day

Thanks to Annie for the title.

One thing I struggle with is honesty, in the complete opposite way most people struggle with it.

If you were to ask me if your butt looked big in those jeans, and it did, I would tell you. Honestly. I would try to think of nice words, like "smashed juicy ham", or "are tight pants the new style?" But lying to make you feel better about it, that is not me. I cannot do it. My mind goes blank and all I can think is the honest truth. No sugar coating or beating around the bush.

If your children are raving lunatics every single time I see them and scream that they hate me when I so boldy say "hello", I may agree with you when you tell me that you think they are difficult children. I won't add more, like "have you considered testing for rabies" or "bad mommie, very bad mommie." But I am not going to lie and tell you they are angelic children of God, when clearly they are spawn of Satan.

Lastly, isn't birthday money the best. I mean really, even when it is not for you. I love the freedom to spend on things I want, where I want. It is so much better than, well, pretty much most things.

And thats the truth.

Labels: One Day

Daylight Saving Time means less of this, for a little while anyway.

We have a new favorite song around these parts.

The itsy bitsy Spiderman climbed up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed Spiderman out.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain.
And the itsy bitsy Spiderman climbed up the spout again.

Labels: One Day

A year ago, I spent a week with jj in Hawaii. We left November 1st, the day after Halloween. Halloween will always be the anniversary of the first time I went to Hawaii.

I cannot explain the longing and need I have to go back, especially knowing that the winter is coming and I don't have a tropical local planned for the near future. Also, I don't think it would be very much fun with the small one. One of us could be in the water alone, the other would spend the day digging on the beach. And since I am irrationally scared of water, it would probably be me watching jj body surf and snorkel.

But I am still filled with the longing. I think it will never leave and I will need to go back for my booster shots of Hawaii.

Labels: One Day

The first time I met him, we broke into another guys ftp account (actually, the other guy thought we were a match made in heaven and had given me his password), photoshoped over my cleavage and then put the picture back.

We worked together in the computer labs at Utah State. But I made him work to get a date with me. He asked me out several times, trying to convince me he was the most suave and debonair guy around. He eventually did convince me and we went out, for more than a year. Shock, I know. In Utah that is blasphemous.

He was the right decision for me, I knew it early on. I waited/beat him into realizing I was the one for him.

He has always been so kind to me. Always. Even the time when I was mad and threw everything out of every single cupboard in the apartment. Clothes. Towels. Sheets. He has waited patiently for me to grow up. He has held my hair back when I puke. He has been my quiet cheer leader. He has been my strength when I had none. He has gone months, probably an entire year, without getting any while I figure out birth control options.

Patience and stability. He is what I need.

He has quietly changed me. Made me better. He is 31 today.

I like to tease him about the slowly balding spot in the back and 14 gray hairs he has. But there is no one else I want.

Also, I have been attempting potty training the wee one. This is a joy beyond compare. Especially today. He let loose with a giant squishy mess right in his Tow Mater underpants. Being that I am full of patience and love, I threw those underwear away. His favorites, Lightening McQueen, are safe but I bet tomorrow he will join Mater in the garbage. I may be the mother, but I will not be washing loads the size of Georgia out of anyones underwear. This should make for great birthday dinner conversation.

happy birthday babe.
love, me

Labels: Fuzzy, One Day

We went and played with friends.

Labels: One Day